


Oops, my bad...uh sorry?

by The_Sithspawn



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Castle
Genre: Comedy, Gen, Mistaken Identity, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-03
Updated: 2017-02-03
Packaged: 2018-09-21 18:16:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9561125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Sithspawn/pseuds/The_Sithspawn
Summary: What happens when Xander Harris runs into Richard Castle in New York. One Shot.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Been watching a marathon of Castle episodes and I just had to write this :) Enjoy! And Don't forget to review!:)

“Hey Castle, you alright now?” Asked Detective Javier Esposito.

Rick Castle gingerly raised the ice pack off of his face from where he was lying stretched out on the break room couch, he paused for a second waiting for his eyes to focus in the direction of the detective's voice, "Yeah I'm good...uh Esposito, I didn't know you had a twin?" he replied replied painfully.

A pained expression came over Esposito's face, "Put the ice pack back, Castle."

"OK mom," Castle said simply as he replaced the ice pack onto his abused face, causing Esposito to wince.

"OK, just stay there don't go anywhere," Esposito ordered.

"Yes , mom" came Castle's muffled reply.

Esposito gave Castle one final worried look before leaving the break room to join Beckett and Ryan in the squad room.

xoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxox

"So what have you found out about the perp?" Detective Kate Beckett asked as she looked up from the file she had been reading.

Detective Kevin Ryan sat at the edge of her desk, notebook in one hand and started his report, "He is one, Alexander LaVelle Harris, 26, single, no permanent address that we can find, but he is on the board of directors of the IWC," began Ryan.

"Board of directors? Isn't he a little young?" asked Beckett in surprise.

Ryan gave her a look, "Wait it gets better."

Esposito cut in as he returned from the break room, before Ryan could continue, “Castle's still out of it, you sure we shouldn't have taken him to the hospital?”

“Lanie checked him over and said he'll be probably be fine, plus he wanted to find out about his mystery attacker,” Beckett explained.

“Yeah well mystery is definitely the right word I would use here,” Esposito commented smartly.

Beckett raised an eyebrow at this and gestured for Ryan to continue.

"He's a high school graduate, never went to college, worked construction for a couple of years before he had an accident and lost his left eye, there's nothing actually listed about the accident itself here in his hospital files. And then a short time later, his hometown collapsed in on itself."

"I’m sorry what?" Beckett demanded.

"Up until it collapsed our perp was an upstanding citizen of Sunnydale, California." Esposito explained.

"The sinkhole town?" asked Beckett in surprise.

“The one and only. According to reports, Harris was on the last bus out of the town.” Ryan confirmed.

Beckett opened her mouth to speak but Ryan held up his hand to stop her, “Two months later, Harris becomes a board member of this IWC.”

“What's the IWC stand for?” Beckett asked.

“I don't know-nobody We've talked to knows or wants to explain but according to some reports they're some sort of Antiques business slash Girl's school based out of Cleveland. They've got branches all across the world and they're loaded. I don't mean Castle level of loaded I mean Bill Gates loaded. They've got money to burn.”

“So how does someone go from being a minimum wage construction worker to board member of some multibillion dollar company?” Beckett asked in wonderment.

“Again, nothing solid but the other board members are apparently the same age as him except for a couple. The head of the board is one Rupert Giles, originally a British National but now with a permanent green card...”

“Stop!” Beckett ordered holding up her hand, she glared at Ryan, “Every word out of your mouth is adding another layer to this mystery and as interesting as all this is, does anything you have to say explain why Harris took one look at Castle and then viciously attacked him screaming bloody murder, in front of a Police station?” she asked pointedly.

Esposito and Ryan shared a look and then reluctantly answered, “Uh...no. Not really, not that we can see.”

Beckett sighed nosily, “You guys have been hanging around Castle too much...I'll be in the interrogation room...you two keep looking and keep an eye on Castle, I called Alexis and Martha, they're on their way.”

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

Beckett stormed into the interrogation room, giving Harris the once over, taking in his tense posture and serious expression despite the bright and colorful Hawaiian shirt he was wearing, before asking directly, “Mr Harris, I'm Detective Kate Beckett, mind telling me why the hell you attacked Castle?” She sat down in the chair opposite Harris and waited for his response.

Harris looked at her with his one brown eye and gave her a glare, “I don't know, maybe its because his name's Caleb and not Castle?”

Beckett frowned, “I don't know who this Caleb is but I've personally known Castle for two years and there's the fact that he's also a bestselling mystery novel author that has been in the public eye for years. He's not this Caleb you're talking about.” She paused for a second before continuing, “You've never heard of Richard Castle? Or his bestselling series about Derrick Storm? Or Nikki Heat?”

Harris blinked, “I'm sorry what? I could have sworn you said he's a well known Celebrity?”

Beckett set her jaw and said, “He is. He's been following me around for the past two years or so for research, I've come to know him quite well. Now tell me, who's Caleb?”

Harris gave her a skeptical look, “So you're saying he's not Caleb? So you can actually vouch for where he was two years ago?”

“I'm guessing me and possibly a few thousand people, not to mention his mother and daughter,” Beckett answered facetiously.

Harris who had been eying her in disbelief and derision, suddenly froze when he heard the word daughter, “Daughter? He has a daughter? How old?” he demanded quickly.

Beckett narrowed her eyes and gazed at him shrewdly, “She's a teenager, 16, almost 17, I think. She's living with him, has been all her life. His mother also lives with him.”

Harris's mouth dropped open, “Uh...oops...” he muttered quietly, his face turning red in embarrassment.

Beckett blinked at the sudden turn around from hostility to open embarrassment. “I'm sorry what?”

Harris winced, “Uh, my bad...I'm sorry? He's not Caleb.” he admitted.

Beckett's head was spinning at the sudden change around of Harris's position. She gave him an uncertain look, “I think you'd better explain yourself.” she said in no uncertain terms.

Harris gave her a wide innocent earnest looking smile, “This Castle isn't Caleb, it was just a small case of mistaken identity, I blame it on the impetuousness of my youth,” he babbled.

Beckett gave him an incredulous look, “A small case of mistaken identity? You assault a man and nearly give him a concussion, and it's just a small case of mistaken identity?”

Harris nodded quickly, “Yup, just a small case of mistaken identity. No way, no how, is he Caleb. He's just Castle, uh...whoever he is.” he continued babbling.

Beckett rubbed the bridge of her nose in annoyance and glared at Harris, “You couldn't have just asked him if he was this Caleb person?” she demanded angrily.

Harris winced and quickly spoke, “No not really, if he was Caleb, he'd probably have finished poking my eyes out, he really didn't like leaving jobs unfinished, he was very meticulous about that, plus-”

“Finish poking your eyes out?!” Beckett cut in, her voice filled the surprise that was mirrored on her face, “Records show you were injured in a work-related accident!”

“D'oh,” was Harris's only response.

Some of Castle's usual wild theories started running through Beckett's mind as Harris just sat there trying to look inconspicuous.

Finish poking out your eyes? Repeated in her mind, “What do you mean finish poking out your eyes?” she questioned in shock, already knowing the answer.

Harris raised his hand flipped up the eye patch and lent forward giving Beckett a nice long look at his empty eye socket, “He's the one that did this to me.” He flipped the patch back down and leaned back in chair.

“So let me get this straight, somewhere out there there's a man wearing Castle's face that likes to poke eyes out?” Beckett asked in utter disbelief.

Harris looked hesitant for a moment before answering, “Well actually, he was this insane misogynistic Preacher that liked to gut little girls, I just got between him a several of his victims, and since this Castle isn't Caleb, then Caleb's really dead.”

Beckett froze, an insane preacher? Liked to gut little girls? Flustered by these revelations and needing to think this through.

“Stay here I'll back,” she ordered as she got up and left the interrogation room.

“Does this mean I'm still under arrest?” he asked.

Beckett turned back to give him a cool stare, “Yes!”

“Then can I have my phone call now?” he requested.

xoxoxxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

A while later gathered around Beckett's desk

“Let me see if I can get this straight,” began Captain Roy Montgomery, “This guy attacks Castle on the doorstep of a Police Precinct because he looks like some serial killer that had maimed him. A killer that specialized in little girls according to our Mr Harris. One that also was supposed to have died.” He paused for a second, “Have I missed anything?”

“You forgot the background check on Harris that sticks to high hell,” Ryan added quickly.

The Captain glared at him, “So what now people? All the mystery aside this is still just an simple assault, right?”

Beckett and Ryan shared a look, “Well, yes sir.” Beckett answered after a moment's hesitation.

“Then get him down to booking, we are all still homicide detectives and Castle-last time I checked-was still alive. I'm guessing you all still have have work you're getting paid to do waiting for you,” the Captain ordered.

“But sir-” started Ryan.

“No buts, if you want to work on this mystery then do it on your own time, we still have murders to solve,” the Captain said firmly. “By the way, how is Castle now?”

“I'm good, definitely been better, but I'm good, only seeing one of everybody now,” cut in Castle as he approached the group while leaning heavily on Alexis, ice pack held against one temple with his mother trailing behind them.

Alexis cleared her throat and gave her father a pointed look, “OK maybe one and half of everybody now,” he admitted grudgingly.

“My son always had a hard head, at least now we know how hard,” added Martha Rogers freshly.

“Thank you mother, it's always good to hear how much you care about me,” Castle retorted, “So what have you discovered about the pirate that hit me?” he asked sounding much more like the incorrigible Rick Castle they all knew.

Beckett rolled her eyes, “Maybe you aught to go home and get some rest then we can talk about Harris.” 

“I found the Caleb character Harris was talking about,” Esposito stated as he joined them, holding a manilla envelope.

“Caleb who?” Castle asked with interest, ignoring Beckett's suggestion, “And what does it have to do Harris the pirate?”

Esposito looked between Beckett and Castle, “You haven't told him yet?” he asked Beckett.

Beckett shook her head.

“Told me what?” Castle asked looking between the two.

“Apparently this whole thing was just a case of mistaken identity, Harris thought you were this guy called Caleb,” began Esposito.

“Mistaken identity? You mean he wasn't a rabid pirate fan that hated me for killing off Derrick Storm?” Castle asked downtrodden.

Beckett gave him one of her patented stay in the realm of reality looks.

“What? It could happen!” retorted Castle in outrage.

Esposito ignored the byplay, he pulled out a picture and showed it them.

Silence descended upon them as they gazed in disbelief at the picture.

The silence was broken by by Martha's “Oh my...” she said flustered.

“Wow...and who is this handsome devil?” asked Castle in amazement, staring at the man in the picture that shared his face but was wearing a Priest's collar.

“Devil is probably the right word,” started Esposito, “this is Father Caleb Robinson, he's on the the FBI's most wanted list in connection with the murder of at lest two dozen young woman, ages 15-24, twelve assorted members of several different parishes he was at, as well as the disappearance of two FBI Special Agents and one FBI tactical assault squad.” He paused and threw a glance at Beckett, “Last known sighting of him was in Sunnydale, California.”

“OK...now this is just freaky!” exclaimed a shaken Castle. He turned to Martha, “Is there something you want to tell me mother? Wait a sec-Sunnydale, California? The giant sinkhole?” he asked as he turned back to Esposito.

“Yeah, our Mr Harris's hometown, and right before it collapsed,” Esposito continued.

Ryan whistled, “And the coincidences keep on coming...”

Beckett gave Castle a look before adding, “And that's where Harris, met Caleb and had his eye gouged out by him. And that's why he came at you today.”

Castle looked between them all, his face unreadable, “A serial killer with my face...that really sounds like something out of a really twisted mystery novel. Oh yeah, I'm definitely going to use that in my next novel!” he exclaimed with glee. “Oooh...I've got to meet this Harris!”

“Dad!” exclaimed Alexis in disbelief.

“Now, now, honey, this is too good to pass on,” Castle said adamantly to Alexis, he turned to Beckett, “Where’re you stashing him? Interrogation room, right?” He turned quickly and letting go of Alexis started to walk towards the interrogation room.

“Castle!” shouted Beckett in disgust at his usual antics, as he started to amble away from them.

He wobbled dangerously after a few steps and looked like he was going to fall but Alexis was quickly at his side, “How about I come with you dad?” she said in a long suffering tone.

“Sure, the more the merrier, come on,” Castle hastily agreed.

The duo moved steadily but slowly towards the interrogation room, Beckett joined them after Alexis gave her a look that practically screamed help me.

The enthusiastic mystery writer and his two long suffering companions reached the door in short order.

Castle opened the door and the trio shuffled in.

They watched as Harris took a look at them-or rather Alexis, and then did a double take while at the same time turning an interesting shade of red and purple.

“Alexis Castle?!” Harris squeaked in surprise.

Surprise blossomed on the trio's faces as well as suspicion on Beckett's face.

Boyish immaturity aside, Castle was still a good father, “Alexis, do you know this pirate?” he asked in disbelief while giving Harris a disapproving paternal look, that all fathers seemed to have, and be able to deliver at a moment's notice.

Alexis was almost too shocked for words, “I've never even seen him before dad!”

Beckett stepped in and glared dangerously at Harris, “How the hell do you know Alexis?” she demanded.

Harris stared at them before covering his face with his hands and after a moment said in a muffled and pained tone, “Hi Alexis, I'm Xander Harris, we spoke on the phone?”

Alexis jaw dropped in shock, “Oh my god! You're Xander?” she turned to her father and Beckett, “He called me a week ago and said he wanted to recruit me for the Jenny Calender school for gifted young women in Cleveland!”

Castle was interrupted by the sound of something heavy hitting the wooden table of the interrogation room. He turned to see Harris sitting there banging his head against the table top. 

He banged his head two more times before stopping, “That's it, this is the last time I do these meet and greets solo!”


End file.
